The Coconut Farmer Story

2001

A True Story

Written 2010* 806 Words*

A true story just as it happened in the Florida Keys

By Howard Yasgar

In September of 2001, my wife and I purchased a property located in the Florida Keys.

The property was 7/8 of an acre, and it was located on Snake Creek, a waterway that connects the Atlantic Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico.

The heavily vegetated property had an Art Deco house on it that was built back in 1967.

When we moved onto the property, one of the first things we started doing was thinning out the overgrown vegetation.

Once we had cleared off most of the vegetation, I counted 14 Jamaican coconut palms remaining, and lots of colorful Christmas Palms. All the Coconut palms were all loaded with coconuts.

We knew that having so many coconut palms on the property was very tropical, but it was going to present us with a major problem trimming them.

Besides the possibility of having a coconut fall on your head, there was always the danger of coconuts flying around like cannonballs during the hurricane season.

My wife just loved doing the gardening but having 14 coconut palms, that were 35 to 40 feet tall, with all of them needing pruning, we knew was going to be a major problem.

One day, my wife spotted our next-door neighbor as he was doing his yard work, so she asked him who he used to help him trim his coconut palms.

Our neighbor said that he used a local fellow, and he was happy with him.

This was good news for us to hear, because we knew that in the Florida Keys, finding someone reliable to do yard work was nearly Impossible, all the workers in the Keys had what was called, “The Keys Disease”.

Everyone said, you could always hire someone to do a job, but it would be a miracle if they showed up.

Our neighbor gave my wife the business card of the fellow he used to trim his trees. The card said, “The Coconut Farmer”.

Our neighbor said the Coconut Farmer always showed up on time and did a good job.

That evening, as we were doing our shopping at the Key Largo Publix, we couldn’t help but notice an annoying individual, he was running up and down the I food isles wearing a tie-dyed shirt.

Everyone in the store was watching him. Not only did he look like a throwback Hippy from the 1960’s, but he was acting very strangely.

The fellow looked to be around 50 or 60 years old, and he had his gray hair tied in a ponytail.

As he was leaving the supermarket, I could easily read what was written on the back of his shirt, it said “Coconut Farmer”.

A week later, despite our reservations, my wife called the Coconut farmer for an appointment. She told him that she wanted an estimate for him to trim the 14 coconut palms that were on our property.

We were surprised when the Coconut Farmer showed up.

The Coconut Farmer said, “You folks living here in the Keys should be very careful, because most of the tradesmen doing yardwork here are alcoholics or drug users.

He said, “I should know, because I am one of them”.

He went on to say, “I have been drug-free for 8 years now”.

So, my wife told him she wanted an estimate to trim all 14 coconut palms on our property. The Coconut Farmer then walked around the property and gave her a price.

The price he gave us wasn’t cheap, but we knew we needed to have it done.

About two weeks later it was time to call the Coconut Farmer to come over and do the job.

It was a Friday evening when I called him.

The Coconut Farmer was sounding a little woozy, said He said he thought he remembered who we were.

Then he said to me that he was in the middle of a party going on at his house, and he was entertaining friends.

I asked him if it would be possible for him to call us the next day so we could confirm what day he was coming to do the trimming, he said he would call me first thing in the morning.

He sounded a little unsure, so I asked him if he had our phone number, and he said yes, but just to be sure, I gave it to him again.

I made that phone call in early February 2002, and I’m still waiting for him to return my call.

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