The How I met My Wife Story

1982

A True Story

Written 2015, and rewritten 11/2019* 493 Words *

A humorous story about how I met my wife Katherine

Howard Yasgar

I had been a bachelor for two years, and I was living in the Tahoe Springs apartment complex in NW Miami.

Like most bachelors, I had lots of free time in the evenings so I decided to go to the Miami Humane Society and picked up a small dog that I could train.

I was told that to find a good dog to train, you needed to find a forgiving one, and the way you did this was by pinching the dog.

They said that after pinching, if the dog returned to you, it was a forgiving animal and would train well.

The Humane Society brought me a Poodle/Schnauzer mix called a Schnoodle.

Her name was Sammy and she weighed 20 lbs. and had black curly hair.

So like I was told to do I pinched her, and when I did, she ran away, and It was quite a project getting her to come back.

I took Sammy home with me anyway, and after a few months I started training her.

Sammy was quite a smart puppy, she took to her training well and she learned both verbal and silent commands.

It got to the point that all I had to do was look at her and she knew what I wanted.

Every day Sammy and I would go for long walks, and after a while I didn’t even need a leash for her.

One Sunday I was walking Sammy around the apartment complex when she decided to run over to the swimming pool to get petted by a couple of ladies that were sunning themselves there.

So naturally I followed right after her, and that’s when I first met Katherine and her mother, they were the two women that were sunning themselves at the pool.

I was quite out of practice, starting conversations with women, so I let Sammy do it all.

So, as they petted Sammy with her tongue hanging out and her tail wagging, I had time to try and think of something to say.

I had just bought a cheap bottle of wine called Coconetta, it was the kind of wine you see in the grocery store once and then you never see it again.

But the bottle of wine was all I had and could think to talk about, so I asked Katherine and her mom if they had ever tried Coconetta, and of course they both said “No”,

I immediately volunteered to go up to my apartment and bring down the bottle of wine for them to try.

When I returned downstairs to the pool, I had a tray, with three wine glasses and the bottle of Coconetta wine.

Katherine immediately observed that Coconetta was a white wine.

The three glasses I had brought down with me were white wine glasses.

So it was obvious to Katherine that I was a man of culture who knew the difference between white wine and red wine glasses, and I had brought down the correct glasses for the Coconetta.

What Katherine didn’t know was that I only had four glasses in my entire apartment, and one of them was a big giant beer mug that I knew was inappropriate for any kind of wine.

The other three glasses just happened by chance to be white wine glasses.