The Lenny Bruce Story

1956

A True Story

Who in the hell was Lenny Bruce

Written 2010* 1,279 Words*

By Howard Yasgar

Had it not been for my grandfather, I would never have come to South Beach in Miami, Florida, and I

never would have known anything about an entertainer named Lenny Bruce.

In 1956, my grandparents bought a condominium on 5th Street and Collins Avenue on Miami Beach.

When they did that, my parents wanted to go to Miami Beach to visit them and see their new condo, and of course they brought me along with them.

I was 16 years old at the time.

For my parents to stay close to my grandparents’ condominium, they rented a room at the Corsair Hotel, which was a few blocks away, located on Ocean Drive.

At that time in 1956, a room at the Corsair was $8.00 a night with an extra $2.50, if you wanted an oscillating fan on your dresser.

I really didn’t want to spend my evenings hanging around at my grand-parent’s new house, so I asked my parents to let me stay behind and I would go to the South Beach fishing pier that was next to the hotel.

However, what I really intended to do was to explore Miami Beach by walking along Ocean Drive and looking at all the fancy art deco hotels and keeping an eye out for pretty girls.

So, when my parents left me for the evening, I went back to our Corsair hotel room and put on some nicer clothes.

I put on my new shoes, my new pants that had a sharp crease, and a suit jacket my mother always brought along for me, but I never would wear.

It was early evening when I started walking up Ocean Drive.

By the time I had walked nine or ten blocks, it was sweating hot and I was already getting bored, so I stopped at a corner and debated about my return to the Corsair Hotel.

As I stood there, I looked way down the street that I had just come to, and I saw blinking neon lights.

So, I crossed the street and walked to where I thought the lights were, and sure enough, it was some kind of night club.

As I walked by the door I could smell stale beer, and there was music playing.

Then I heard someone laughing.

It took a lot of courage, because I had never been to a bar or night club in my life, but I walked through the front door.

I did it, like I did it all the time, and I sat on a empty stool at the bar.

I watched, as the bartender eyeballed me suspiciously and asked me what I wanted to drink.

I quickly replied, Rheingold, because coming from New Haven Connecticut, it was the only beer I knew the name of.

The bartender never asked for my ID, nor did I have any idea as to how much a Rheingold beer cost.

I took out my wallet and tossed a dollar on the bar, just like I knew what I was doing.

The bartender took the dollar, and I kept watching him, I wondered if he would return with some change, but he never did.

I took a sip of my beer and it was awful.

Then suddenly there was a drum roll, and the lights on the stage in front of me went on.

The drum roll sounded awfully scratchy, sort of like it was coming from a worn-out record.

Then a guy in a dark suit walked out on the stage with a microphone in his hand.

Several people at a table were clapping their hands, so I did too.

I was shocked that a performer was standing so close to me, as a matter of fact, he was standing so close to me, that I could count his shoelaces.

He appeared to be young guy, probably in his thirty’s.

As he introduced himself, I really felt embarrassed for him, because there were no more than 6 people in the whole place listening to him yak away.

At first, he started talking very loudly then the microphone seemed to quit.

He said a few swear words, as he adjusted the microphone and started telling dirty jokes.

I had never heard anyone swearing in public before. But, as he did it, I could see that he was looking right at my face, it was like he was talking to me.

I didn’t think any of his jokes were very funny but the drunk people sitting at a table seemed to be laughing at every word he said.

As I sat there, a very nice-looking blond girl sat down on the stool next to me.

I looked over at her, and she couldn’t have been more than 25 years old.

She asked me if I was in Miami on business, or was I on vacation?

I wondered, here I was, 16 years old, and did I really look like a businessman on vacation?

I didn’t answer, I tried to make believe I was listening to the guy on the stage, but then she asked me to buy her a drink.

What could I say, the bartender was standing right there staring at me, so I said sure, and he brought her a glass with something pink in it.

I put a dollar on the bar, but the bartender just stared at me so I put another two dollars on the bar, it was the last of my money.

When I opened my wallet, I saw both the bartender and the girl looking in it.

They both knew I had no more money, so as embarrassed as I was, I just said goodnight, I got up and left.

Back at the Corsair Hotel, I saw the night-clerk, he was sitting in the hotel lobby.

I asked him what kind of joint that night club was.

He said, “That’s a really hot joint, it’s the best we have on Miami Beach”.

He said, “What did you think about the comedian Lenny Bruce, he’s a very funny guy, he is well known everywhere”.

I said, I’m from New Haven Connecticut and I never heard of him before.

When I said that, the night clerk just stared at me.

When we returned home from Florida, I can’t explain it, but some very strange things started happening.

Every time I turned on the TV or picked up a newspaper, someone was talking about this outrageously filthy comedian on Miami Beach named Lenny Bruce.

It seemed like every day there was a story about Lenny Bruce being arrested somewhere.

I read that his real name was Leonard Alfred Schneider, and in 1947 he was kicked out of the Navy for putting on a gay act in drag.

In 1961 he married a stripper and had also made his first dirty jokes recording, and because of it, he was arrested for obscenity.

Then again In Miami he was arrested for impersonating a priest, he had raised $8000.00 for a leper colony in Guyana but he kept most of the money himself.

On and on, Lenny Bruce was constantly arrested for obscenity and drug possession, he certainly was famous.

In 1962 he was arrested in Australia for obscenity, and then in 1964 he was arrested twice in Greenwich Village for obscenity.

But In 1966, it all stopped short, Lenny was found dead of a drug overdose in his Hollywood Hills bathroom.

Who would think that in 1956 at age 16, I was in Miami Beach drinking Rheingold beer and counting Lenny Bruce’s shoelaces?