The Richard's Dad and the Cigar Juice Story

1965

A true story as related by my friend Richard

Witten 12/3/2013* 576 Words*

#153 By Howard Yasgar

This true humorous story was related to me in 1965 by one of my good friends, Richard.

The story Richard told me was about his father and I felt that it was so funny that it was worth writing down for posterity.

When my friend Richard was a teenager, he worked part time in his father’s paint manufacturing facility in New York City.

Because they lived in the suburbs, his father would drive to work and home every day in his big four-door Cadillac sedan.

At first, whenever Richard rode to work with his father, he sat up in front in the passenger’s seat.

Richard’s dad always smoked a big cigar, but most of the time, it wasn’t really lit, he just chewed on it, then, occasionally he would press a button and his driver’s side window would go down. His father would then turn his head to the left and spit out a big wad of tobacco juice onto the highway, or sometimes onto the car driving next to them.

Every evening as they drove home from work, Richard’s father would be thinking about business and not paying much attention to the lousy way he was driving.

Other drivers would constantly be honking their horn at him, and some would drive up next to them screaming obscenities. Lots of people just pulled next to them throwing Richard’s father a bird. (Giving him the finger).

But Richard’s father was completely oblivious to it all, and he just kept driving along chewing on his cigar.

Richard became so embarrassed regarding his father’s driving that he started riding in the back seat, he sat in the right rear, where he could slouch down and no one could see him.

As his paint manufacturing business grew, relatives started telling Richards father that his Cadillac was an outdated car.

They told him that and people of means now all drove Lincolns. They told him to get with the times, and trade in his Cadillac for a Lincoln.

Richard’s father did just that, he traded in his Cadillac for a new Lincoln Town Car.

The first evening, as they drove home from work in the new Lincoln, Richard’s dad, like always, was weaving down the highway chewing on his cigar.

Richard was in the right rear seat of the new Lincoln all slouched down.

When Richard’s dad was ready to spit out his tobacco juice, he went to press the button for his driver’s side window to go down.

Because the window control buttons were in a different place on the Lincoln, his dad pressed the wrong button and Richard’s back seat, right rear window went down.

His father, sitting in the driver’s seat, turned to the left and spit out a big wad of tobacco juice, the only problem was his driver side window wasn’t down.